As I write this I am on a bus on the way to Koh Tao. Ben is passed out next to me after a big night and we still have to make it onto the midnight ferry. Today is my 5th day in Thailand. I wanted to take the time I have tonight to reflect on my adventure so far. There have been a few pivotal moments in my life when I have simply said ‘screw it’, let me do this differently. Deciding to come to Thailand was one of these ‘screw it’ decisions. I had been facing down a rather boring month in Wellington and Ben C, being the incredible friend he is, talked me into dropping everything and going overseas. As a plan-alcoholic in recovery, this sounded equal parts scary and exciting. While not my first overseas experience, this is my first trip backpacking and my first trip going alone. Both undertakings have intimidated me greatly in the past. But, like with many of the things that have scared me, such as getting a new job and talking to new people, once I started, it was far less scary tha
My first outdoor experiences were ‘tramps’ with my family when I was a kid. The reason I walked was because my mum said I had to. I now get the privilege of exploring my ‘whys’, my intrinsic motivations, independently. I recently wrote a post about why reflecting on my motivations is so important to me. You can find the re-posted version here . Everyone has different ‘whys’. Talking to others about their motivations has helped me better understand my own. My ‘whys’ are constantly in flux. They can vary day to day, month to month, hour to hour. More on why this is something to be aware of here . I like doing hard things, but not just because I want to be faster or walk further, although that can be an added bonus. I walk because I want to improve my resilience, prove to myself I am capable. I want the good brain chemicals that come from exercise. I walk, because being active makes my body and brain feel good. I walk, and I don’t want to always do hard things. I walk for the connection